when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
