Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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