So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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