I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
