I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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