I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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