1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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