It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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