Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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