He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize