im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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