it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
