Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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