I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
try to milk me bitch
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
