if you like me you must not know who I am
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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