I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
