I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
