she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
