I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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