ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
