If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
