Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize