It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you win again, gameday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
