The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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