So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
