i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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