You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
