At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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