My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
