just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This is my gift to your gina
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
