Please, let me fuck your mom
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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