If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
