Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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