Cold hands, warm shart.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
