i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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