His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
