we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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