We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
