my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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