Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
