so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
