we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
