I am in a vortex of obligation.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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