Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
