what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
