You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
