i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
