well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how does that bad decision feel?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
