Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
