Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
