Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
