from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize