What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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