Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
