Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
