please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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